Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
