I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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