you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
