youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
