I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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