I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
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