he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
I don't deserve a penis
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
