Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Randomize
