who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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