Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Randomize
