do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Houston, we have a blender
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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