he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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