You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
is it fun? or sober?
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
