Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
