I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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