I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
