Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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