it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
how drunk are you?
Several
Randomize
