i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Couch. On fire.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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