I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Randomize
