margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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