Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Randomize
