My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
