your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
The cops high fived after they tackled you
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
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