Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
And then my night got REAL pukey
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Randomize
