Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
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