I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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