Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
