And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Randomize
