I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
