I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
