After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize