C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Randomize
