I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
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