You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Randomize
