Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
