take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
