So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
