He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
