whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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