how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
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