We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Even my vagina gasped.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
