Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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