If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Randomize