he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Randomize
