Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Randomize
