I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Randomize
