she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
