thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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