We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
false alarm, still single
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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