are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
