I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
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