We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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