they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
