And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
Randomize
