Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
