Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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