Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize