Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
