The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
