He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Text me some of your sweat
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize