Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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