I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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