508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
