you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize