it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Randomize
