Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
